


I'm not as think as you drunk I am

by Yanana



Series: Andromione prompts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Andy is wasted, Bella lives, Borderline crackfic?, But also tired and exasperated, Established Relationship, F/F, Hermione is Amused, Humor, The Black sisters had a date, They're all on the good side now, set after the war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29143176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yanana/pseuds/Yanana
Summary: The Black sisters have a date and they all end up drunk. Hermione needs to help her wobbly girlfriend a bit.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Andromeda Black Tonks
Series: Andromione prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156520
Comments: 31
Kudos: 102





	I'm not as think as you drunk I am

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I wrote this. In only know that *some people* put this idea in my head... This is my first try at Andromione XD
> 
> Enjoy!

Hermione startled awake when she heard a loud thumping sound followed by a crash downstairs. Still half asleep she patted the place next to her only to find it cold and empty. The lack of her girlfriend’s presence in their bed combined with the very familiar string of curses that could be heard from the living room made Hermione feel at ease straight away, however strange that sounded. But there was only one person who could _sneak_ into the house at 4am while making it sound like a herd of elephants was passing by.

With a flick of her wrist she lit the lamp on the bedside table before slipping out of bed. The cold hardwood floor beneath her feet made her gasp a little while she searched for her slippers who had been discarded rather carelessly a few hours ago. But she had been so tired after a hectic week at work and desperately needed the sleep. Hermione tied her robes around her and combed her fingers through her hair to make it somewhat less bushy as she walked downstairs to greet the intruder.

Slightly amused but mostly exasperated Hermione watched as Andy tried to manoeuvre her way through their living room while bumping into every piece of furniture she encountered. It would seem like her date with her two sisters had been a success, the brunette mused. Since they had been reconnected, they tried to have some sisterly bonding-time at least once a month and Hermione knew they had decided on going to the pub for this occasion. Which had been fine with her. After all, it could not have been worse than their trip to the Zoo where Bellatrix had managed to set some lions free.

‘Andy, what the hell! How drunk are you?’

‘I am not drunk!’

Hermione raised an eyebrow in disbelief, ‘can you tell the time?’

‘Of course I can!’ Andy said insulted before turning to the enormous clock above the hearth and repeating herself ‘I am not drunk.’

The younger woman had to bit the inside of her cheek not to laugh at the sight of her girlfriend pointing a finger to the clock, wobbling on both legs. She knew Andy had a weakness for Fire Whiskey and the few times she went out, she usually returned absolutely shitfaced. Hermione didn’t mind too much but she couldn’t help but worry a bit.

‘How did you get home? You didn’t Apparate here I hope?’

‘No love, I’m not st – stupid,’ Andromeda stuttered, ‘I’d get splinched if I Apparated. We took the Knight’s Bus.’

The visual of all three Black sisters drunk on the purple bus was enough to make Hermione giggle. Andy in turn smiled warmly at her girlfriend. She did love it when Hermione laughed. They had met at a talking group for people who had trouble moving on after the war. Andy had been left with a grandchild to raise after losing her husband, her daughter and her son-in-law. And Hermione couldn’t sleep through a single night without having the most horrible nightmares. Even when Bellatrix showed her true colours during the Battle of Hogwarts and apologized profusely to the brunette, she had found it difficult to manage.

But that was years ago and time heals all wounds. Time and love apparently because Hermione and Andy had become close friends first before falling in love with each other. Hermione often spent the night at Andromeda’s house to help her cope with raising Teddy, working fulltime and tending to the household. It had been after one of Hermione’s worst nights that Andy invited her into her bed to offer her some comfort during her nightmares. Safely tucked away in each other’s arms they had fallen asleep only to wake up the next morning feeling rather flustered. They had shared a look and then they’d shared a kiss only to never stop kissing each other ever again.

Hermione moved in shortly after and none of their friends were surprised when they announced their relationship. By now, Hermione had managed to forgive Bellatrix and even she’d became friends with the darker version of her girlfriend and their blonde sister Narcissa. Teddy had set off to Hogwarts and Hermione thrived in her career as Head of the Wizengamot. Life was good.

The brightest-witch-of-her-age was brutally ripped from her musings however as Andy started to retch, her stomach clearly not handling the horrifying amounts of alcohol she had consumed.

‘Sink!’ Hermione shrieked, following her girlfriend to the kitchen.

She held Andy’s hazel brown curls with one hand while rubbing soothing circles over the woman’s back with the other. Hermione cursed herself for not bringing her wand. What if the intruder hadn’t been Andy but an actual thief? Some witch she was. Hermione squinted her eyes and summoned a vial of anti-Hungover potion with wandless magic and felt proud when she succeeded from the first time. Switching a light on or off was one thing, but summoning actual objects required a whole different kind of focus.

‘Thanks,’ Andy muttered while chugging the vial her girlfriend held in front of her, ‘I’m never drinking again.’

‘That’s what you said last time. And the time before that.’

Andy gave her an apologetic look before pushing herself away from the sink. She held out a hand to Hermione and the younger witch took the hint immediately. Slowly she guided Andy upstairs, making sure she wouldn’t trip. The light in the bathroom made Andy wince but while Hermione didn’t mind her getting drunk, she absolutely did not pity the woman. Gently smacking Andy’s hands away, Hermione started undressing her, tossing every piece of clothing in the laundry basket. The moment Andy was stripped completely bare, Hermione pushed her into the shower and opened the tap.

‘Oi! The water’s freezing!’

‘It’ll get warm in a few seconds. By the way, it might help you regain some of your senses.’

‘You’re mean.’

‘I’m tired, Andy. Start scrubbing. Please.’

Grumbling the older woman obliged as she started removing the stale smell of alcohol, pub and vomit from her body. She contemplated washing her hair but it took ages to rinse all the soap from her curls so she decided against it. The moment she was finished and emerged from the shower, Hermione simply snapped her fingers to dry her off. An overly large T-shirt was pulled over her head and before Andromeda knew what was happening, Hermione had pushed a toothbrush into her hands.

‘There’s a spell for that.’

‘I know, but you just puked your guts out and I’d prefer if you actually brushed your teeth this time.’

It took Andy an impressive eight tries before she managed to get some toothpaste on the brush all the while refusing Hermione’s help. _I am not a child. I can do it!_ She nearly gagged when she jammed the toothbrush too far down her throat however and judging by Hermione’s glare she was close to having it shoved up her arse as well. So Andy scrambled her last remaining functioning braincells together and finished the job. When she sauntered over to the toilet, Hermione left the bathroom muttering something Andy couldn’t quite catch.

Hermione had slipped back between the covers of the bed and waited impatiently for her girlfriend to grace her with her presence. When Andy finally appeared in the doorway, the witch stopped in her tracks and shuffled awkwardly.

‘What is it?’

‘I can’t find my room.’

‘… This is your room.’

Andy shook her head fiercely, ‘no, I’m sorry. I can’t sleep with you.’

Hermione was at a loss for words, ‘why in Merlin’s beard not?’

‘I have a girlfriend,’ Andy confessed while plucking at the hem of her shirt, ‘and I don’t want to cheat on her.’

This time Hermione actually facepalmed, ‘and who do you think helped you undress and shower?’

Andy simply blinked.

‘I am your girlfriend, you drunken Niffler! Get your arse in bed!’

The witch obliged and settled against the pillows before erupting in a fit of giggles, ‘if you’re my girlfriend, can I kiss you?’

‘Ask me again tomorrow. Did you sisters get home safely?’

‘Bella claimed she was fine before picking a fight with a lantern. I’m pretty sure she broke a finger even though she refused to admit it. But Alecto picked her up at Malfoy Manor so I’m sure she’s taken care of.’

Hermione couldn’t help but chuckle, ‘and Cissy?’

‘She practically crawled her way to the front door. The peacocks were very confused.’

This time, Hermione actually laughed. She patted Andy on the knee before switching the light off again and pulling the sheets on top of her. After a few minutes of silence however, she heard the rustling of sheets as Andy turned towards her.

‘Hermione?’

The potion finally seemed to start having some effect. Or was it the cold shower? Hermione had no clue but she felt relieved.

‘Yes?’

‘Can I please have a kiss?’

Hermione caved and rolled over so she could press her lips against Andy’s in order to kiss her. Once, twice and then some more before grabbing Andy’s arm and draping it over her body so her back was pressed against the older witch’s front. She felt Andy nuzzle her nose in her bushy hair and sigh contentedly. The last thing Hermione did was close the blinds completely as the sun had already started to rise. But it would seem like neither witch was going to get up any time soon…


End file.
